Being in an overwhelmed state is a place I truly hate to be. I hate it there.

One day, everything is perfect, you're following the plans you've laid out, you have it all under control, and the next day, you're juggling so many tasks that is required of you. As simple as those tasks might seem, you start to feel out of order, you experience burnout, anxiety, and the worst part is that you haven't even done enough to justify feeling that way. Then, something clouds you, and you can't figure out what it is.

"Just live one day at a time". It's a common phrase. People have said it. I've said it too. But I've come to realise that, living one day at a time doesn't erase the workload of tomorrow from my mind.

I hate being in a position where I don't know what I'm doing. This is why the learning process is so hard for me. While it seems others have fully grasped things, I'm still trying to understand and learn it at a slow pace, in a way I can truly comprehend. Yet, time is running so fast.

There was this week; it wasn't exactly rough, but it was one of those weeks where I felt like "I didn't know what I was doing, " and by the end of the week, I had experienced burnout.

It was a Sunday. I love going to church on Sundays, but that day felt worse than the previous days. I woke up, did a few chores, went back to bed, pulled the cover over my head, and slept off. The problem wasn't that I decided not to go to church, the problem was that, in whatever state I was in, I wasn't seeking a solution to come out of it.

It was a call that brought me out of this state. She said, "Muyiwa, why didn't you come to church?"

And I replied, "I am tired."

She asked, "Tired of what?" That was when it hit me…tired of what, exactly? What was I so tired of that I withdrew into a shell? What made me decide not to go to church? It struck me that there was no valid reason. I didn't even know the specific reason I was overwhelmed. It felt like I had brought myself to that state. And it's true, sometimes, I'm the problem.

Being someone who gets extremely overwhelmed makes me realise how imperfect I can be, how hard it is for me to handle so many things, and how frustrating it is when I fail to meet a goal or target I set for myself.

But the good part is that since I dislike being in situations where I don't know what I'm doing, I don't try to be there in the first place. I discovered this about myself early enough to know I had to restrict myself in certain ways. I set boundaries, and even though outwardly, I might seem overly serious, the truth is, I'm just a vulnerable person. I can break easily, perhaps more easily than others, and I don't want that to happen.

Also, whenever I make a conscious effort towards anything, I can do it well. I feel so fulfilled when I set a plan and follow it through. It's as simple as brushing my teeth every night before bed. If I can follow through for a week, I feel a sense of satisfaction and relief, and through that, it's easy to believe I can discipline myself to do other things in the right way. I think everything all comes down to discipline, intentionality, and putting in the work instead of complaining or dwelling on how hard it is to get things done.

So, how do I get myself out of this state, or how do I cope when I feel I'm getting into it? I read scriptures.

My highest level of being overwhelmed often makes it hard for me to pray. This is one of the reasons I hate being in that state, because being unable to pray while feeling overwhelmed is like the greatest torture.

When I finally get a grip of myself, I tell myself, "I cannot stay here forever." I read scriptures, declare them, and slowly start to find the words. Then I realise that whatever caused me to feel that way was often something so trivial, something with a clear and obvious solution.

You really can't do life alone, and if you are like me, overwhelmedness can be a great tool for relying solely on God. One of my favourite scriptures in such moments is Matthew 11:28-30 and it says:

I also listen to songs, songs that calm my spirit. One of my favorites is "Peace" by Hillsong. It has helped me a lot.

God is concerned about everything in your life. Tell Him everything, even the things that may seem small and insignificant when you share them with friends. Take it to God instead, He knows how you feel. When you find it hard to pray, remember that the Holy Spirit intervenes on our behalf with sighs too deep for words. You can sit in silence with Him and simply pray the "I don't know" prayer.